Shut Up, Conner

It all started with a Twix bar. My Twix bar to be exact. Travis was supposed to be getting me a Twix bar because I had bet that Percy and Annabeth would get together right after he saved Olympus, and Travis said that Percy would finally pluck up the courage to ask her at the end of the summer session. I was right, of course, and really wanted that Twix bar.

So I walk into the Hermes cabin expecting my candy bar when I see Travis sitting on his bed and brooding. And not his normal 'Let's make a plan to pour chocolate milk all over somebody's head' sort of brooding. It was the serious kind, that I had only seen when he was worrying over how we were going to eat that night when mom had no money. Uh oh.

"Who's Tyler Smith?" he shot at me as soon as I walked in the door.

"Um, some dude from the Athena cabin, I think. Why? And where's my candy bar?"

"Did you know that he was dating Katie Gardner?" I did of course (because I knew absolutely everything about everybody because I'm awesome like that), but I wasn't worried about that. I was hungry.

"Where's my candy bar?"

"Will you shut up about the Twix for a second? Did you know?"

"Yeah, like everyone did, I thought. Why does it even matter?"

Travis shrugged and didn't say anything. Well, now that that was over I felt it was safe to ask about my Twix bar. I could use some caramel and cookie goodness right about now. "Travis. Where's my candy bar?"

"I gave it away."

"What? To who?" I demanded. Travis had stolen that for me. What the hell? I needed my chocolate, damn it!

"Katie. She and Tyler broke up and she seemed like she needed some chocolate." I needed some chocolate, not Katie Gardner! How could he do this to me? This is brotherly betrayal, in the worst way. Travis paused. "Girls do like chocolate, don't they?"

"I don't know, do I look like a girl?"

"You really want me to answer that question?"

"Shut the hell up. And go get me another candy bar!"

......

And that's how the two of them began. From that day on my brother liked Katie Gardner. Or at least that's what I think, anyway. He never really told me, but I could tell. Right after that we began pranking the Demeter cabin harder than ever, though, so that was my big hint. If you can't woo a girl prank her, right? That's the Stoll brother way at least. What says I love you better than a firecracker to your roof?

Of course, I had never really thought about her like that. I mean, Katie was pretty, sure, but I thought that she was way too busy yelling at us to ever be thought of as 'girlfriend material'. But that's not how Travis saw her. He thought that she was wonderful or something like that. I don't know, he never really told me otherwise, though.

He was smitten and she didn't notice. She just went on hating him, or thinking that she did. Katie never actually hated him, she just thought that he was annoying because he wouldn't leave her cabin alone. She never seemed to give him the time of day otherwise, which was why Travis kept messing with her cabin (to get to her). If she would have just talked to him her cabin would have never have been bothered.

Katie didn't notice this very obvious clue, though, and went right along disliking him and yelling at him and hitting him consistently which just about made Travis right into the ground.

But she never really bothered with me that much. It was usually only Travis getting shouted at, even though both of us were in on the prank. I was kind of shunted off to the side (which I did not appreciate, because, hello, I put in time on the prank too and deserved a little recognition) while Travis got the full force of Katie's anger. Which, I'm quite sure, he enjoyed for some sick and strange reason. I don't even want to know the queer (or not so queer) and twisted things his brain was fantasizing while she was yelling at him.

So life went on like that for a couple of months. Travis liking Katie, Katie not liking Travis, and me, being the more handsome, charming, and smart brother noticing it all and not saying anything. It comes with the awesomeness of being the younger brother, by the way.

........

I was just walking to dinner minding my own business when I noticed that the Demeter cabin girls sitting on the porch and gossiping the way that girls do. I was going to go over there and offer my stud services to them ie. flirting and taking them to dinner if they weren't going with their cabin when I heard them talking about "those Stoll brothers" which of course made my ears perk up.

Hot girls talking about me? Hell yes! Score one for the younger bro. (Well, okay, maybe they were talking about Travis too, but can we forget about him for a second and focus on me please? Thanks.)

"I really like their hair," Whitney Ford said, twirling her daisy that she was holding around and around in her fingers. All of the girls were holding some type of flower. Demeter girls are all flower freaks, apparently.

"Ooh, me too!" Cassie Swan squealed. "It's all shiny and wavy and... oh my gosh it's like sex god hair!"

This is actually quite true, if I do say so myself. Our hair is quite amazing, all the girls that I've ever gone out with have told me that. It's so awesome, Eros is jealous. But this isn't something that you get out of a bottle.

Fern Medrain looked slyly at Katie, because Katie hasn't joined in the conversation yet that I've heard. She was actually just looking down and messing with her flower while biting her lip the whole time, which is quite suspicious behavior if you ask me. "Well, personally, I think Travis's hair is much better. It's shiner, isn't it? And, like, it's wavier too. I don't know, don't you think that it's more brownish too, Whitney?"

I never have liked Fern Medrain.

Whitney pursed her lips, and then smiled really big after Fern gave her a look, like she knew some great big secret or something. Personally I thought that it made Whitney look kind of vapid. (I am obviously the better looking brother, why does no one see this?) "Yeeeah..." she said, lingering on the word. "Travis has gotten way cuter than last summer. I mean really. Maybe one of us should go for him... What do you think Cassie?"

The flower in Katie's hand very visibly wilted and her lips her shut tight. It was really obvious that she was trying hard not to say something.

Cassie shrugged, "Whatever you want to do, Whit. It's not that big deal. I mean, Travis does have a muscle tone now and it's about time. Maybe he's up for a quick shag or something... after all he is a Hermes boy."

I was now regretting ever listening to this conversation. Not only were almost all Demeter girls blind (because, hello, younger brothers are totally hotter and so have muscle tone!) and they were also really stupid. With the exception of Katie, of course, because my brother had a huge crush on her so she had to be somewhat intelligent. That doesn't say anything about her half sister's intellect.

And what's up with He is a Hermes boy? What the hell was that supposed to mean? As far as I can see my dad, Hermes, is one of the gods that stays with their 'lovers' the longest. Better than the 'hump and dump' thing that Demeter is rumored to do. So excuse me for getting offended. What was Cassie implying exactly? That we're all a bunch of whores?

I was about to go over there and defend my cabin's (and my brother's) honor when Katie got to her feet, throwing her flower off the side of the porch. The flower was shriveled up brown and dead looking. "Excuse me, Cassie, what the fuck was that last comment supposed to mean?"

Katie was getting really flustered now. I could tell that this had been building up inside of her and now she was about to blow like a really pissed volcano. I could tell that this was going to be quite entertaining to watch. Cassie looked up, shocked. Katie was her sister and probably didn't get mad at her that often. Cassie's mouth opened and closed like a fish on a dock. Haha, Cassie, that's what you get for being such a huge bitch.

"Because believe you me, Travis is not up for a 'quick shag' and definitely not from a horrible and ugly cow like you, Cassie. Second of all Travis's Stoll's hair is not 'sex god hair'! Gods! It's just hair. Just because it's quite amazing and great looking and you are all jealous of it doesn't mean anything. Travis and Conner look exactly the same. You shouldn't just pinpoint Travis." Katie paused. "And Travis has always had muscle tone. Just because you guys are all way too full of yourselves to notice doesn't mean that no one else has!"

Katie stormed off the porch in a huff and I followed. I wanted to tell her thanks for defending my brother and my cabin, sort of. "Hey, Katie, I heard what was going on up there, and," I began but Katie interrupted me.

"Oh, shut up, Conner," she snaps at me and walked off leaving me in her wake.

.......

About a week later after that heart warming scene between Katie and I new drama emerged.

You see, all I wanted to do was take a nap. I had free time and my brother had skipped the archery lesson (which he was probably going to get KP for, not like he cared) so I had no idea where he was. We had stayed up until four this morning planning a prank for the whole cabin to be in on for the end of camp and I was tired. Archery had been a bitch today.

I'm walking into the cabin when I hear this sexy... moaning sound, which made me step back and scratch my head. What the hell? No one had better be defiling my cabin, I had to sleep here! I bet it was Percy and Annabeth, I had walked in on them one day, and that was not pretty...

I cough, hoping that whoever is in there can hear me (Because I really don't want to see anything. I'm not that big of a perv. I just want to take a nap!), but they don't. So I walk in and what do I see but Katie Gardner and my brother going at it like a pair of bunnies.

Ah! My virgin(ish) eyes!

Katie's back was pressed against the wall and she and my brother were getting hot and heavy. One of her tank top straps was off her shoulder and you could see her (black and lacy) bra. Her hands were woven in my brother's 'sex god' hair, which just the week before she had been calling 'quite amazing and great looking'. Was it just like you imagined it, Katie?

One of my brother's hands was on the wall, making sure that he wasn't smashing Katie, and the other was under her shirt. His shirt was off and his back was to me so I couldn't see exactly where Katie's hands were, thank the gods.

Holy shit! Since when were Katie and my brother at 'sexy make-out session' level? When did Katie allow my brother's hands up her shirt? WERE THEY EVEN DATING? HOLY MOTHER OF HADES!

I coughed again, louder this time, hoping that they would get the hint. They didn't hear me, still to into each other. Damn it. I cleared my throat and kicked a bunk. Still no response from the two busy love birds.

"HELLO!" I yell, which makes them jump apart, startled. They're just looking at me, dazed, like they don't even think that I am real. Well, I am very real and am suffering from the pornography that I was just subjected to.

Katie, in particular, looks aghast. She glances from me to Travis several times, before, in what has to be a move made on pure panic and desperation, she slaps him hard on the cheek. Smack! "How could you, wh-what how, I'll be going now," she stutters, adjusting the strap of her shirt.

I can't resist saying one snarky comment before she leaves. "Nice bra, Katie," I tell her. Because, really, who brings a bra like that to a summer camp? Where would you even buy something like that? Victoria's Secret?

"Shut up, Conner," she screeches at me, readjusting her mussed hair. Yeah, because nothing covers up 'I almost had sex' hair better than a high ponytail, Katie.

Travis groans and flops down on one of the lower bunks and pulls on his shirt. "Damn it, Conner, why do you always have to mess up everything? No, shut up, I don't want to know." Again with the shut up comment. If the two of them ever have kids (which may be possible, considering what I just saw) I'm never going to be able to talk again.

"What do you mean, 'mess up everything'? I wasn't about to let you have sex in here. Dude, I live here. I wouldn't be able to look at the place the same way again if you and Katie Gardner, of all people, had done 'stuff' in here."

"Yeah, well, next time it's happening on your bed."

"What? What do you mean, next time? Has this happened before? Are you guys even going out? Because it didn't look like it to me. She slapped you! What's up with that?"

"I don't know. Our relationship is complicated."

"You sound like a girl. What do you mean, 'complicated'? Are you dating or is she just someone that you're having a quickie with in my bed no less?"

Travis glares at me, pulling himself up right. "No, I'm not having a 'quickie' with Katie. I-I I oh damn, I love her, Conner!"

"WHAT?" I gasp out. That came out of nowhere, fucking nowhere. I did not see this coming at all. It didn't seem like the two of them were dating, even though lately Katie has laid off Travis and we haven't pranked the Demeter cabin in a while, but still. I thought those were signs that Travis was over her, not that they were... more. "Since when?" I demand. If he was keeping this from me I want to know how long for.

"Well, we started dating around Christmas, and I don't know about the love thing. It just sorta... happened."

Since frickin Christmas? It was August now, so he had been hiding this from me for nine frickin months? Holy hell!

"If it's been nine months then why did she slap you whenever I saw you two? I mean, I'm your brother. I'm only going to be making fun of you guys for the rest of your lives, nothing major. Why is that such a big deal?"

"Yeah, see, well, that's when things get complicated. See, Katie doesn't want anyone to know that we are dating, for some reason."

Hmm. This was tricky. Why wouldn't Katie want people to know. She couldn't be ashamed of him or anything, otherwise she wouldn't have stuck up for him like she did. This was time for the Conner wheels to start turning. "Does Katie know that you love her?" I ask.

"Not in so many words, no. I mean, I hope she does, but if she doesn't..."

"Do you want her to know that you love her?"

"Well, yeah, I mean we have been-"

I cut him off. "Yes or no, Travis?"

"Yes, I do." Travis nods.

"And do you want people to know that the two of you are dating?"

"Yeah, but what are you going to do about it?"

"Well, first things first. We need a megaphone and some speakers," I list, and then tell him my plan.

......

This was going to be the best end of camp ever, I just knew it. While it was by no means the best prank that we had ever pulled (in fact, I don't even think that it could be considered a prank) it was something that was going to make my brother really, really happy. And Katie too, if everything went according to plan.

We even had Chiron in on it too, just to make sure that everything went smoothly. My brother and I wanted nothing to be left to chance when it came to this.

A timid tugged on my shirt. It was Davis, one of my half-brothers from Texas. He was eight. "Uh, Conner, where's Travis?"

"Shut up and eat your peas, kid," I snap, probably a little too harshly, but I don't really care. Travis is the one that's good with the kids, not me, and I want everything to be perfect just this once.

But that was a good question, where was Travis? I hadn't seen him all day and I was kinda worried about it. Before a major thing like this Travis and I had access to each other just in case there were any major changes to the plans, something like Clarisse is getting in the way or the like.

The I see Chiron nod three times, which is our signal. Travis is coming, and soon. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning, and see Davis staring at me. I glare at him while he whispers, "You and Travis have got something planned, don't y'all?" Damn your Hermes genes Davis!

"Shh," I shush him up just in case one of the others heard him. The last thing we need is a bunch of kids ruining the surprise. "You'll see in a second."

Then I hear it, the opening cords to Accidentally in Love by the Counting Crows. Everyone's heads snap up to the front of the mess hall. Then Travis walks in holding his megaphone. I chance a look at Katie, and see that she's looking just as astonished as everyone else.

Chiron shouts over music, "Travis Stoll wants to make an announcement." Then he steps aside, and I rub my hands together in anticipation.

Travis turns on the megaphone and clears his throat. "Katie Gardner?" he says, his voice magnified enormously by the megaphone that he's talking into. I wouldn't be surprised if they could hear him all the way to the highway.

Katie is looking at Travis, now quite mortified. Her face is bright red and she looks like she wants to melt into the floor. Well, good. Everyone immediately looks at her, which makes her go even more red. She looks about as red as a frickin ripe tomato.

"I love you!" he screams and everyone in the room winces. Katie bursts into tears, and the applause thunders around the room. Everyone who's decent is happy for them because, well, it's like they say, it's about damn time. Katie runs to the front of the room and jumps into his arms and everyone gets up and begins talking about "The best end of camp, ever," which was just how I knew it would happen.

I walk to the front of the room, where Katie and Travis are still hugging. Travis looks like the happiest guy on earth, which he might be when he has Katie in his arms.

Gag. That thought just totally sounded girly, didn't it? I can't believe I just thought that.

"...so why didn't you want people to know about us?" he asks her.

"Because, well, this is really embarrassing, but Fern and I had a bet."

"A bet, what kind of bet?" Travis's eyebrows meet in the middle of his forehead.

"Well, it's stupid, but one day Fern and I were talking, and she said that I liked you. I said that I didn't, because I really didn't at the time, and then she told me that she bet me that I couldn't go the rest of the year without falling for you. I bet that I could, and we shook on it."

"So what was the wager?"

"Oh, five hundred dollars or so. Just five hundred dollars that I don't have. But oh well. She did tell me that if I couldn't cough up the money I'd just have to give her my nail polish collection. I can do that instead."

Convinced that they've had their 'moment' now, I put my arms around the two of them, and they squirm uncomfortably, trying to get away from me while trying to hold on to each other. "See guys, didn't I tell you that everything would be okay-"

They both speak at the same time. "Shut up, Conner."